Redefining Milestones

Any new parent will agree that it’s easy to feel guilt and pressure about our babies meeting and /or exceeding milestones. As my friend said, “it’s not a true trip to the pediatrician if you don’t leave feeling bad about something!”  Well, I can’t say that I don’t fall into the category of overly anticipatory parenting when it comes to what “experts” say my son should be doing by now, but I’m also not going to lose anymore sleep that I already don’t have if we are slightly above or below the mean. 

One way to help alleviate the stress of meeting milestones that every other baby is held to is to create a list of ones that my son has already met. Don’t be jealous if your three month old hasn’t quite the accomplished list. 

  1. Sent at least one outfit (pajamas included) to the stain-remover station in the laundry room for five consecutive days.
  2. Slept in a car seat (in a car and living room floor), rocker/recliner, swing, bouncer, couch, your bed, play mat. Bonus parenting points if he/she doesn’t actually make it to their crib. 
  3. Knows the difference between the crib at your house and the one at Grandma’s AKA selective sleeping. 
  4. Detecting the exact moment you bring out a fresh cup of coffee and novel, settling under a blanket, so they can wake up from their nap. 
  5. Simultaneously wanting a pacifier in their mouth, but pulling it out over and over and over and over, mostly resulting in crying (the baby, not the  parent)
  6. Screaming bloody murder in your ear while learning to use their voice. 
  7. Discovering the convenient handles Mom had installed to hang from her scalp. 
  8. Phantom Crying: the cries you hear even when your baby isn’t home. 

How many of these has your baby achieved?  Did your older kids reach them in time to make you feel like a good parent?

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