Is It You or Is It Me?

Yesterday I shared with you the official term that covers my state of mind as I discover that I’m in love, or more likely a strong infatuation, with a novel:

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I have been meandering amongst titles since coming to the conclusion that my emotional journey with Alex, Lena, Hana, and the revolution would be ending within two to three reading sessions. Last night I finally chose a title, and it’s just…eh. Every swipe of the page left me thinking, “When is this going to get better?” But am I being too harsh? Am I just bitterly finifugal? How can I tell? How do you know when you’re sabotaging a decent book? Take the following questionnaire to find out!

” Are you Sabotaging a Good Book, or Does it Genuinely Suck” Quiz

1. How long has it been since your last “must-read recommendation” novel?

A.) Over a month

B.) Less than a month, but more than two weeks

C.) Less than a week

D.) Today

2. How long have you had your current “Eh” novel on your bookshelf/must-read list?

A.) Over a month

B.) Less than a month, but more than two weeks

C.) Less than a week

D.) Found it the same day you ended your last book on a “If you read _____, you’ll love ______” website

3.) Do you keep casting and recasting the lead roles for the Hollywood film version of your previous novel?

A.) No, it wouldn’t translate well enough to film

B.) Yes, and I just hope that Hollywood sees that it’s too special for Kristen Stewart of Taylor Lautner to ruin

C.) Yes, and I just can’t decide if Jennifer Aniston is just too old to play the female lead, or if it’s more of a Emma Watson.

D.) Yes, and I have been stalking the blogs to see if the rights have been purchased; rumor is that they already have, and so that means that it’ll take 2-3 years of script adaptation, finding the right director/cast/crew/funding….

4.) How likely would it be that you would recommend your current “Meh” novel to someone else?

A.) Most likely; I can picture in my mind at least four people who would appreciate it.

B.) Likely; there’s nothing that totally turns me off about this book

C.) Not likely; it would end up as either a “beach read” or at the bottom of their “to read” pile

D.) Not at all! I wouldn’t ruin my booky reputation on this garbage!

5.) How many times a day do you make a “Current Novel Love” reference?

A.) 0-1

B.) 2-3

C.) 4-6

D.) I can’t keep track – EVERYTHING relates back to it!

RESULTS

Mostly As: You’ve got a good head on your shoulders about moving onto the next novel. You know that you can love your previous novel and its characters, but you’re giving your new title a fair shot. There’s been ample time between an ending and a new beginning. So sorry, New Book, you’re just not that great.

Mostly Bs: Perhaps it would have been wise to use a novella or short stories compilation to cleanse your palette, but you’re a smart cookie. You’ve been to the rodeo enough times to be able to smell a stinker when you’re reading one. With all due respect, perhaps you simply came across a novel only fit for reading and leaving on a cross-country flight.

Mostly Cs: Now, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. Sometimes it’s best to realize that we’re not ready to move on quite yet. You’re a strong person, and we know that you needed something to fill that void after closing the back cover. However, it wasn’t productive to eat a carton of Ben and Jerry’s after your last break up, and it wasn’t wise to hit the “Must Read” section of your Kindle either!

Mostly Ds: Ma’am, I am placing you under arrest for the assault of a helpless and legitimately exceptional novel. You’ve allowed your judgment to be clouded, and you may have just ruined the best thing that has happened to you since…well, your last literary love affair. You’re not ready to move on. You know it, your friends know it (mostly because you won’t stop blathering on about how eloquently John Green can construct dynamic characters…::cough, cough:: this is just a “what if” example….). You’ve committed the cardinal book sin: Thou shall giveth each novel a fair opportunity; no book is a waste of time book, except Twilight.

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