Words of Wisdom???

So something has been on my mind a lot lately; it’s more of a phrase that I was told. The incident happened several months ago, and while the person who said it is out of my life and I’ll probably never see her again, her words have stuck around.

“I’d rather be chubby and happy than skinny and miserable.”

Ok, so there’s nothing too offensive here, out of context. The situation was a little less diplomatic.

Let me set the scene: A staff meeting held after school and we were all waiting for our fearless leader to arrive. A plate of fresh-out-of-the-oven muffins were laid down in front of me; goodies for the crowd to enjoy while we poured over standardized test scores. I politely declined a muffin. I was full. I was watching what I ate. I was being a healthy, mindful eater. Not hungry = not eating.

As I passed the goodie plate to my neighbor, a statement was made that ended the idle chatter that filled the room.

“I’d rather be chubby and happy than skinny and miserable.”

I felt like All eyes were on me. I need to handle this professionally and yet not let her get away with being that rude.

You talking to me???

Immediate reaction: Pardon me, Bitch-face?

Immediate actual reaction: “Oh I didn’t know those were my only two options. I feel like such a silly goose now!”

Laughter from the crowd. Street-fight averted.

It was one of those moments that will probably stay with me forever. And it’s not that I think she’s a horrible person, but it does lead me to several different thoughts:

First thought: I feel bad for her. For many reasons.
#1 She’s obviously an idiot and can’t help herself.
#2 I know that she’s a former “fatty” (her word, not mine). She was dedicated enough to lose over 70lbs and still runs about a buck-eighty.
#3 She should know better than to criticize someone for trying to be healthy. (See reasons #1 and 2)
#4 Obviously that comment was more about her than me. She must have been having one of those days when she didn’t feel so great about herself; we’ve all been there. It’s just sad that instead of dealing with her own weight/self-image issues, she felt the need to lash out at me.

Second thought: Are those really the only two options that we have in life: chubby & healthy OR skinny & miserable?

Of course not!
First of all, I’m actually a little flattered that she would place me in the “skinny” category. I look at the comment as a compliment on days when I can’t sit down in my favorite pants without my thighs spreading out like pancake batter on a hot skillet.
“Hey, Bitch-face called me skinny. Quit worrying.”

Secondly, I’ve been learning the technique of moderation, which sounds simple on paper. But writing down “eat only 1/2 of my order of fries” doesn’t taste nearly as good as those damn fried sticks of loveliness. But if I want to be able to eat them, I need to get the discipline down to eat only a few. Enjoy it and be happy.

This argument sort of reminds me of the premises for the movie, “Shallow Hal.” You know, the movie where Jack Black saw the inner beauty of girls instead of their outer beauty. It made the assumption that only physically unappealing females would be the “good” ones. Again, I find this to be insulting and right on track with my co-worker’s mentality. (Photo source)

Third thought: Women are terrible to each other!
Despite all of the Pollyanna “Glad Game” mentality that I can get mustered up about this incident, the bottom line was she hurt my feelings. I don’t think that I deserved to take the brunt of her unhappiness; I’d never been anything but nice to her. I even waited until this blog to rip her apart.
I know that it was more about her than me. Maybe she felt like she should pass up the muffins, but didn’t have the will power to say no and seeing this younger, thinner girl do what she couldn’t pissed her off. So her own self preservation, she decided to focus her frustration at me. But because she knows what it’s like to struggle with your weight, she should have been there to support my decision. I hate chick-on-chick crime.

Summing it all up
So what does all of this rambling mean? In the end, about 5% of me gets upset when I think about the statement. The other 95% is all about the idea of proving her wrong and making myself better. I will NOT be skinny and miserable; skinny yes, miserable no. I will enjoy my treats now and then. I will not eat them because of pressure from others. It’s OK to politely decline food that you don’t want to eat. It doesn’t make me a bitch, a snob, or stuck up. It makes me healthy and confident. I won’t go so far as to thank this chick for her comment, because I’m not done with that 5% of bitterness. Someday I will.

Besides, do you think this lady is worried about being skinny and miserable?

And so modest, covering up her Mommy-Parts.

2 thoughts on “Words of Wisdom???

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